


But everything's not enough

by Aaronlisa



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 06:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9535742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaronlisa/pseuds/Aaronlisa
Summary: Cordelia's lawyer has come for a visit on her one night off.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [punch_kicker15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/punch_kicker15/gifts).



> Written for round 140 at femslash_minis. The prompts were the pairing, Depeche Mode's "I want it all", wine, silk and shiny without non-con or Angel.

She's at some posh hotel in Europe. Cordelia's not quite sure where and she doesn't actually care. All that matters is that she has a night off. She sighs as she slips off the high heel shoes and walks towards the window. It overlooks a river and everything is so different from home. Not that Sunnydale or even California are really home for her anymore. She had traded in beautiful and sunny Sunnydale for the grey and cold concrete of New York. And she had never once looked back. Lately though she's been regretting things.

"Miss Chase." 

Cordelia turns away from the window and wishes that she'd left her heels on. At least then she'd be prepared for Lilah Morgan. There's a part of her that's somewhat terrified of her lawyer. Another part that's desperate to kiss the smirk that always seems etched on Lilah's lips away. She wants everything but she knows she can't have it. 

"You're not having regrets are you?" 

Cordelia arches an eyebrow up at Lilah. It's uncanny sometimes how the other woman always seems to know what she's thinking. If she didn't know better she'd think it was magic. But magic doesn't exist. ( _For a moment, something seems to tug at her, a memory that seems faded and distorted - a red hair girl holding a dusty and dirty old book - but then it's gone._ ) Although she hates feeling weak, Cordelia presses her hand against her temple. The headaches are getting worse. 

One moment Lilah is at the door way and the next she's beside Cordelia, carefully guiding her to the sofa to sit down. 

"Are you alright Miss Chase?" 

"Fine," Cordelia lies. 

She doesn't want to talk about the headaches. Instead she wants to discuss whatever it is that Lilah is here to discuss and then slip out of the red silk dress she's wearing and slide between the smooth cotton sheets of her bed. She just wants to sleep. 

Lilah stands up and walks over to the kitchenette and pulls out a bottle of champagne from the micro-fridge. Cordelia watches as the other woman opens the bottle and then pours two glasses. Technically she's still underage but most people ignore the fact that she's only nineteen because she's a successful mode. It's not where she thought she'd be four years ago. _(She used to dream about being an actress and then a girl had come to town - Biffy, Muffy, Betty - and everything had changed_.) 

Her head throbs again. And she takes the cool glass from Lilah's hand and presses it against her temple. For a moment she stares at Lilah's shiny red lips and wonders if kissing them would make the hurt go away, make her feel like she's normal again, like she knows who she is once more and recognizes her reflection. 

"What do you want Lilah?" Cordelia asks. 

The smirk on Lilah's face deepens. The brunette lawyer sips at her wine and Cordelia waits. Even though Lilah is her lawyer, Cordelia always feel like she's the prey and Lilah the hunter. 

"It's always a question of want, isn't it?" Lilah cryptically asks. "You're one of the most sought out models but it's not racking up to be all that you wanted is it?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cordelia says as she downs the glass of wine. 

The champagne, no matter how expensive, tastes bitter on her tongue. She doesn't want to admit that she feels like she's missing something, that her life is not enough. It should be - she's rich, famous and beautiful. She has it all but she feels like she has nothing. ( _Once upon a time, she'd complain about being stuck in a library at the high school sitting with the misfits studying something that she can't quite recall._ ) She has vague memories that are more fragments that feel so right compared to the things that she remembered.  
She tries to stand up, she wants Lilah gone, and she thinks that it's time she stood up to her lawyer who works for her. But she can't. Everything hurts. 

"I'm very sorry Miss Chase," Lilah says. "But you shouldn't try to tax yourself right now."

"What have you done?" 

The words come out heavy, thick and slurred. She hates how weak she sounds. This isn't who she is. Lilah looks at her and Cordelia is struck by how soft the look is. 

"My colleague should never have signed a contract with you," Lilah says.  
"Are you going to kill me?"  
She's not even sure how she gets the words out or if anyone can understand them but Lilah somehow does. The older woman has stalked over to the sofa. She sits down on the glass coffee table and cradles Cordelia's face in her hands. 

"I think I like the world with you in it," Lilah says. "I don't particularly like this version of you. You're not as filled with fire or spunk as you could be." 

"What?" 

"Shh, Cordelia, just relax," Lilah says. She presses a chaste kiss on her lips.

* * *  
Cordelia wakes up feeling hung over and as if she'd gone seven rounds with a demon the night before. She looks around the room and is confused momentarily. Everything looks somewhat cheap and generic. She's in a hotel but not the lovely one in Europe. And then she remembers that it was a dream. Yet she remembers far too much of that dream than she normally does.  
She turns over in the bed and Lilah Morgan is there. 

"Hello lover," Lilah purrs. 

 

"What is going on?" Cordelia asks. 

Lilah frowns as she slips from the sheets - still cotton but not as high of a quality as the ones in the European hotel - and Cordelia finds herself wanting to touch Lilah's silk negligee. And then she remembers that Lilah is the enemy, she's not her lawyer or her friend or her lover.  
"Oh dear," Lilah says. "You weren't supposed to remember." 

"Remember what?" 

Lilah sighs. "It's complicated and let's just say that being a model isn't your calling in this world." 

"That was real?" 

Lilah arches a perfectly groomed eyebrow at her. And Cordelia feels gauche in the other woman's presence. 

"Ok fine, that was real but what's going on?"  
Lilah makes a show of getting dressed before she answers. 

"Wolfram and Hart would win if you weren't here in LA, fighting the good fight, helping the hopeless and all that other jazz." 

For a moment she doesn't understand but then Cordelia remembers signing a contract and she remembers what she and Angel have learned about the law firm that Lilah works for. She shivers when Lilah sits down on the bed beside her  
"I'm stuck Cordelia, for life and beyond, but I saw a way to save you and in turn save Angel." 

"What do you get out of it?" Cordelia asks.  
"Clever girl," Lilah says before she kisses Cordelia on the lips. 

"Are you trying to distract me?" 

"Maybe, but I'd rather not say much, you're not ready for it. But like I said earlier I like you with a bit more fire in you than complacency and that blank smile from chemical dependency."  
Cordelia really doesn't understand but maybe for once she'll just let things be. Especially when Lilah doesn't seem to mind when Cordelia slowly unbuttons her silk blouse again. 

((END))


End file.
